Since When Does Lincoln Have A Ghetto?

Working at the 16th and South Street Brewskys is definitely some sort of an experience. Not only do we serve just about any type of person that could possibly exist, we are also across the street from a halfway house, an AA house, rehab, and the mental hospital. Down the street is South Street Liquor, and a fabulous little adult movie/sex shop. And in the mix, there we are, our humble little Brewskys, the first one in existence, the start of an empire. I'll be the first to admit that we are not in the most glamorous neighborhood Lincoln has to offer, but what it lacks in beauty it more than makes up for in character.
So here's the story. A lady comes in and wants to place a to go order. These take generally 15-20 minutes, depending on what the person has ordered. We offer her a place at the bar, at which she can wait, but she decides to wait in her car instead. 10 minutes later, she sends her husband in to pick up the food, but it not being within the alloted 15-20 minute time frame, he has to wait. Which must be some sort of an ordeal for these well-to-do types; they were both sharply dressed, and clearly not from this area of town; and he was not happy about the wait. In the end, after they had left with their booty, the lady calls back. There was some problem with the chicken wings, and she was hollering up a storm. But not only about the food. The wait was really what was bothering her, and she summed it up as such: "I had to wait for 20 minutes IN THE GHETTO!!!!!"
Which brings me to the point of this delightful little blurb of mine- Shut your Gucci wearing, WASPy yuppie SUV driving stuck-up ass up!! We are not ghetto, we are old school, the remants of a Lincoln that existed before your sleazy insurance rep of a husband made you move here. Your problem is that we are located in an area that represents all the people you don't want to deal with- the recovering drug addicts, people who have been to prison or are in rehab, people who work in the dirt and the heat, using their hands to build the things you take for granted. There is nothing wrong with where we are, but in your eyes, it must be a bad place because there's no brand new houses that look exactly the same, or giant shopping complexes that only serve those who like to buy stupid shit nobody really needs.
My guess is that she lives in a brand new house in a brand new development with no trees, and shiny new cars in every driveway, where everybody dresses the same, and acts the same, where they all work at the same place, and do the same kinds of things. There's no diversity there, and it's all safe and cozy, because she knows that only certain people can afford to live there, all the "uncomfortable" people are safely weeded out. Well let me tell you something, sister. That stupid development was a corn field 10 years ago, and those of us who have lived here longer than that are not impressed by your big stupid house and your big stupid car in your big stupid cookie-cutter treeless neighborhood. We're the reason you have all that shit in the first place. We have been working here for years, growing Lincoln's economy so you could afford to bulldoze the field to build your houses. Our sweat and labor have helped produce all that you have, and you have to audacity to come to a place that has remained untouched by your spoiled, arrogant hand and call us ghetto? Those people you wouldn't condescend to be in the same bar with built that road you drive to the mall on, and built the house you fill with useless expensive knicknacks. So take your uppity attitude and blow it out your skinny, malnourished ass.
We know of a Lincoln you've never seen. The beautiful old mansions down on D street, the legend of Hazel Abel's house, the parks and pools we haunted as kids because none of us had deluxe memberships to country clubs. We remember the blizzard that knocked out our power for a week, and we remember how the entire city banded together to keep eachother from freezing to death. We went to Lincoln High and Northeast. We drove up and down Sheridan marveling at the beautiful houses. We remember Air Park before it was just where the jail is. We shopped at the Atrium downtown, and watched our fireworks at Holmes Lake. There is such a history here that you'll never see if you don't make it past SouthPointe. As far as I'm concerned, you're just an implant, and until you decide to see Lincoln for what it truly is- a mishmash of different people living in one of the most beautiful cities in America, you can just kiss my ghetto ass.
So next time you're in the ghetto, I'm sending over some of my parolee friends. If they scare you enough to keep you safely tucked out of sight in your dumbass neighborhood, then that's good enough for me.