Do You Ever Notice....

I guess I'm just going to unload some observations here. Don't know if they're like, universal among everybody, or just things I see, but hey, I don't care.

Do you ever notice that the guy at a concert wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt is the one selling all the good drugs?

Do you ever notice that people would rather eat light bulbs that talk to you except when you ask for directions? Then people trip over eachother to tell you their way to get somewhere.

How about the fact that people will steal your table at a bar when you leave your cigarettes, but not when you leave your sunglasses?

Or that cars on the interstate always travel in little groups, and single cars are few and far between?

Did you ever notice that a raisin dropped in a glass of champagne will bounce up and down in it?

Ever notice how it's physically impossible to sneeze with your eyes open?

Proven fact: It's impossible to drink a gallon of milk in an hour, even if you hurl repeatedly. (I proved it in a very scientific experiment)

Did you ever notice that there's no Betty Rubble in Flintstones Vitamins?

Did you ever notice that the King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache?

Yesterday I noticed that one cannot lick their own elbow. Strange.

I noticed that honey is the only food that doesn't spoil. Everthing else in my house... not so much.

Once, I noticed a lady wearing a mini-skirt with support hose. My prayers you never have to witness such a sight.

Did you ever notice that cat pee glows under a blacklight?

Did you ever notice that your fingernails grow faster than your toenails?

I think I need to get more of a life... I'm noticing how fucking wierd these are.