The Games People Play

So I have a buddy who is into gaming, and he wants to design video games for a living. Which is totally cool because sitting on your ass playing games would probably be a great career move. And, because I am such a kick ass friend, I have decided to offer my services as super good idea giver. So here, my friend, is a list of games that I think you should create and distribute to the masses.

"Photosynthesis Extreme" In this game, you would be a tree, and the objective is to grow. The opportunities for upgrading would be great because it takes 20 to 30 years to beat.

"Call of Dooty" Here, you are a plumber who has to unclog septic systems. Your foes are E coli and crusty wads of TP.

"Who wants to be MC Hammer?" Try to spend every dime you have on stupid crap, then shorten your name and do infomercials. The first one to survive on nothing but dog food and ramen noodles wins.

"Minesweeper part deux" Kind of like the original except instead of diffusing land mines, you're strip mining Utah. Extra points for missing and blowing up Mormons.

"Die like Nikki Sixx" Your objective is to suck up drugs like a Hoover Vacuum. You only win if you come back to life, though.

"Dave Matthews Tour Bus Champions" Drive your tour bus over unsuspecting victims and drop human waste on them.

"President Bush Cabinet Meeting Simulator" Color the prettiest picture, but remember to stay in the lines! Bonus if your picture makes the fridge.

"FaceOff!! Michael Moore vs. Rush Limbaugh Lunch Meat Edition" Simulated contest to see who can eat the most hot dogs. Bonuses for gastric bypass surgery and oxycontin addiction. Watch out for those pesky vegetables!!

"Holy Wars: The game of a loving Lord" Isolate a certain group then pray for them. If you pray hard enough, you can either send them to hell for being Godless Infidels, or you can change them into clones in God's Army. The army then blows the Jews off the face of the Earth. Or the Muslims. Your choice!!!!

"The Sandlot" Be the first to count all the grains of sand on the beach. If the tide comes in, you have to start over.

I think this should be sufficient to jumpstart his career in a serious way. Just my little way of saying "I'm here for you buddy!!!"