The Mirror

So okay, I wrote this 4 years ago and have never shared it with anybody. Probably because I sound like I'm a nut job crazy insane person. But, seeing as how I am suffering from a 3 month long writer's block, and I've always though this to be a fabulous allegory on finding one's self, I figured "what the fucking hell." So here you go, my crazy nut job piece.



Who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? I really think I know her, but lately, I just can’t get a grasp on who she is. I stare at her, wishing to touch her. But every time I try, my fingers touch glass. Cold and hard to the touch, is this who she is?
I stare into her eyes. They’re big, haunted eyes, eyes the color of jade. What’s behind them? What are her thoughts? Her eyes give no indication, they just stare back at me with a piercing look that makes me shiver. It’s so strong I have to look away.
I feel empty. Like a jigsaw puzzle that lost all the inside pieces. When the wind blows under this vast starry sky, it blows right through me. I feel lost. Every star in the sky looks the same, there’s no one star to single out and follow. How did I get here, so lost and so empty?
The girl in the mirror. She’s led me here, and now I’m lost. Why did she do that? What good could it possibly do her to leave me stranded like this? I look at her once again, but she just returns that cool, hard stare.
I feel mesmerized by her. She’s weaving a web around me that I’m powerless to stop. But her eyes…
I just want to look into her eyes…

The mirror has shattered. It’s tiny slivers and pieces are spread in the grass all around me.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m wandering around, leaving bloody footprints on the grass. The slivers of glass under my bare feet slice me as I walk.
The wind still blows through me.
I’m looking for pieces. I pick one up, study it. There’s her eye, still haunting me, piercing me in jade. I find another one. This time, it’s harder to tear myself from the eye’s steely gaze. Her eyes are in every piece I find, making me look harder, faster for the pieces of the girl in the mirror. A million eyes look back at me as I rush to put the pieces together.
My hands are cut, oozing blood on the shattered pieces of my mirror, yet I still work feverishly to put the jigsaw of eyes together.
Whole around the edges, empty in the middle…
A drop of my blood falls on the mirror’s piece, making the eye red. I stop and stare at it- the cold, clear jade is now a deep, disturbing red. Making the eye evil.
I shriek, and toss the red eye away.
Now my tears are mixing with my blood, making it harder to fit the pieces together.
Her eyes… are everywhere. With a look as hard and cold as the glass that holds them, each eye possesses me, makes me mad.
I’ve got to finish…
My head feels droopy, it’s hard to keep my eyes open, but I still work, cutting myself on each piece before I fit it into the puzzle. The grass is red, stained with the blood that’s pouring out of my hands and feet.
The last piece is gone.
The eyes look at me accusingly. I threw it away, the last piece of the puzzle that would make the girl in the mirror whole. I threw it, and it’s gone.
I collapse to the ground, exhausted and weeping at the eyes. But they pay no attention. Each eye begs me to look, and finally, I lift my head, bloody and tearstained to look.
The eyes are red.
Her eyes…

The wind has stopped blowing.
The mirror is almost finished, but there is one piece missing, right where the girl’s heart should be. The girl is back, whole and piercing me with those cold, jade eyes again.
Where can I find the last piece?
I sit, cross-legged on the grass, staring back at the girl, wondering what to fill the hole in the mirror with.
My hands and feet are dark red, stained with my own blood, but they feel so warm. Almost a tingly sensation- my hands and feet have bees swarming inside them.
The Earth is also red, a deep peaceful red.
What can I do to finish my mirror?
The girl in the mirror is mocking me. Her eyes are dancing, she knows I cannot finish.
I drop my head into my hands and weep.
My tears are warm, adding even more warmth to my hands- they now feel on fire. What a sensation- so much different from the coldness of the mirror.
I touch the empty spot in the mirror with my tear soaked hand, and the girl blinked.
She blinked, and for one moment, I was out of her penetrating stare. I touch it again. Another blink.
Her eyes are silent now, with every touch of my hand, they grow mute.
I think I know now…
I stand up, and pick up a clod of deep red Earth. I mix it with my tears until it is clay.
And I shape it, mold it, into a heart.
A warm, red heart.
The girl’s gaze is curious now, for the first time, I can look at her eyes and not feel trapped. I smile at her, then place the Earthen heart where the last piece should be.
It fits. Her cold jade eyes start to grow warmer, until they are the color of shiny emeralds-
And the girl smiled back.
Who is this girl staring back at me in the mirror?She’s me. And the wind has never felt so good on my face….