Men Piss Me Off

You know, when I started this blog, I told myself that I wouldn't write a lick about me, or my life, or my problems. It's my own little way of mocking you morons who do keep an "online diary." In the interest of being honest here, let me tell you people a little secret: Nobody cares about your life.
But I have decided that since this is also a safe place for me to bitch about shit that pisses me off, I can in certain circumstances, bring my life into play, make it "fair game" so to speak.
Because I am so fucking pissed off at men. So fucking pissed off. You guys hear that? Fuck you and your chest hair.
Here's the thing. I attract crazy people. Anybody who knows me will agree, when it comes to men, I usually bring about the crazies. It's always depressed crazy, too. Like 24 hour suicide watch crazy. Which brings me to why I am so fucking pissed.
Do I look like a psychiatrist to you? What makes you think I want to know that in 3rd grade, your dog died and you were traumatized for life and it still hurts and I've only know you for 3 hours? Or am I supposed to help you resolve your ex girlfriend issues when you put up a shrine to her in your living room? Or if your wife left you, and you're still depressed about it, why even ask me out in the first place? Like I said: what makes you think I have a PHD in men psychology?
Jesus, if I get one more depressed, obsessive, traumatized, drug addicted, or suicidal man in my life I'm going to go post office style and take out a sports bar.
Now I know that everybody has issues, and if you can't tell that I have pretty big issues, then you're an idiot. But c'mon, I'm not out there flinging myself at men going "make me feel better!" And even if I were, so what? I'm not a MAN. Which is another reason I'm pissed- why do I attract these pussies? And they're all fucking short, which makes me taller than them, and they're skin and bones, which makes me fatter than them. There has got to be somebody more man than I am out there. Jesus Christ I'm about to turn lesbian here.
Fucking men.
I seem to be going on a lot of first dates lately, and that's just frustrating as hell. Seems after these guys dump all their problems in my lap they stop calling. Maybe there's like a secret man website where they advertise me for free. "Free therapy! Just take her out and get her drunk!"
You fuckers are just giant ass pussies. Okay, that's mean. As your therapist, I am inclined to be on your side. My advise to you is to GET THE HELL OVER IT AND ACT LIKE MEN FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE.
And I am done.