I'm As Inspired As My Cat

I've been completely and utterly uninspired this last week. Maybe it's the stressful job I have, or my friends who keep pissing me off, or my pseudo-boyfriends who never seem to call me, or something, but I feel like my cat. All he does all day is sleep and lick his butt, and while I'm not very inclined to do the latter, I do understand his motives. It's cold out, and there's no animals left to kill. So he hangs out all day in a depressive cat-funk. He's become quite the bummer.
So I suppose I have, too. Become quite the bummer, that is. And while I know I'll eventually come out of my Jessica-funk, I can't help but feel sorry for myself. All the animals I like to kill are hibernating, too.
I want to go to the Grand National Llama Show. It's here at the Lancaster Event Center. But I can't find anybody to go with me. Am I the only one who feels the artistic pull of the llama show? It's freakin hilarious. Imagine the people who go to these things for real, not like me who has the sole intention of mocking people. But I'll never go, unless I go with myself, and the Grand National Llama Show must be shared with a friend.
Mainly, when I feel like this, it's because of a boredom. I used to fix it with pot, but that ship pretty much sailed. Whenever I have a funny notion, I have to share it with myself, because at the moment, I don't have anyone else to share it with. I'm fun, but I already know that, so hanging out with myself is boring. I would listen to my "Devastatin' Dave" album, but again, that is something to be shared with a friend. Devastatin' Dave knows this, and would be offended if I tried it alone.
My job has been completely stressful, and is literally sucking all the fun from me. But I have a 3 days off, so the stress has melted like that shit on the inside of a microwave popcorn bag that leaves your hands all greasy. So I'm feeling fun again. But alas, I have all this fun and nothing to do with it.
Things like this are not going to be happening for awhile: While at the mall with my friend Amanda, I was harassed by the Carousel Operator. And I said to him- "Knave! Dost thou thinkest of me as a rider of the carousel?" And the second time he harassed me, I said fine, I'll ride the damn carousel if I can do it for free. So we got on the carousel, bitching and laughing and making jokes, and I shit you not, I got laughed at by blind people, so you can imagine how ridiculous we looked, since they couldn't even see us. And it was tons o fun.
And until my Mujo comes back, is not going to happen again for awhile. Which is fine. Being the comedian all the time is hard. I'll take this as a well earned break. In the meantime, maybe I will try licking my ass for a while. Well, this is advice from someone who drinks out of the toilet and eats dead rodents for fun, so maybe I'll lay off my cat's advice for a while. He seems to enjoy it, though.